Bullying, what is it?
There is no legal definition of bullying. However, it's usually defined as behaviour that is: repeated, intended to hurt someone either physically or emotionally.
Bullying within Primary and Secondary School settings takes the form of:
o Verbal abuse, such as name calling or gossiping
o Non verbal abuse, such as hand signs
o Emotional abuse, such as threatening, intimidating or humiliating someone
o Exclusion, such as ignoring or isolating someone
o Undermining, by constant criticism or spreading rumours
o Controlling or manipulating someone
o Physical assault, such as hitting and pushing
I am in no way afraid to admit that I experience my children doing all of the above to each other on a weekly basis, it’s called ‘Sibling Rivalry’ and is in my opinion an important and safe way of finding you place in the world. Further information in a future Blog.
When children take the above listed behaviours outside the home this is when it becomes a cause for concern.
My main interest whilst researching bullying in primary and secondary school is:
“If the school or another parent tells a parent that their child is bullying another child, why are most of parents reluctant to even consider, never mind concede that their child is bullying another?”
So far, from the research I have undertaken it is clear that if the school or another parent approaches a parent and says that their child is bullying a child, there IS a problem. However, it would seem that often, parents either go into denial, believe that others are being mean to say this about their child, or the child/children in question need to ‘Man Up’.
Is being told your child is bullying, a personal attack on you or you’re parenting? Many may feel that the answer to this is ‘Yes’! I believe differently, I think that if you have been told that your child is bullying another then my concern would be for the child accused of doing the bullying. There is something worrying this child, I see there is nothing else to do but to find out why your child feels the need to bully another, and then to deal with the concern your child holds in a gentle and proactive way.
If you feel you need support around the subject of bullying be it adult bullying or child bullying please contact me.
Please contact me either by:
email: firstname.lastname@example.org, or call me on my dedicated line: 07565 879401.